Fun Quotes
Kommie uit De Haag of soow? Nâh, ègelijk ùit Rèswèk, maah gebore in De Haag. Maak nie ùit joh. Hep auk un Haags horlauge om mèn linkâh klâh.
Un man zè 'ns teige zèn goede vriend: “Ik wil wel sterve voâh un graute zaak!” Un paah dage latâh wegd ie nie goed voâh de ingang van de Hema…
Verrak zag kearel, wat orrrdiniaarrr.
Je ken tog nie zonduuhr
Neologisms Marriage: when dating goes too far Snaccident: a regrettable incident when a slight peckishness leads to the consumption of an entire family-sized bar of chocolate entirely by mistake
Lobotomy is a convenient procedure, so you never have to think again
‘I’ve learnt so much from my mistakes I’m thinking about making a few more’
il miglior bullshitatore
il twittatore
Swimmer trapped by beach balls. A MAN got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deckchair and found his testicles had become stuck between two slats of wood. Mario Visnjic had been swimming naked off Valalta beach in Croatia and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea. When he sat down they slipped through the slats and then, as he lay in the sun, expanded back to normal size. He was freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deckchair in half.
When you have an 'I hate my job' day. Try this out: Stop at your pharmacy, go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Then, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized." Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."
Everybody has the power to make someone else happy. Some do it by entering the room, while some do it by leaving.
How to politely tell someone they are stupid: Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.
A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. There are no prima donnas in engineering. Freeman Dyson
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity — Hanlon's Razor
Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the parodied views.[1][2][3]
Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article.
Work is more fun than fun (Noel Coward)
The person you have called is mentally not available
Ricky Gervais: 10 Million followers. Now we can really do some damage.
Rome wasn’t pillaged in a day
Something is going to kill you; life is about what you do before that
Twitter, where people come to be offended by things they choose to read.
It's like a vegan going to a steakhouse and getting offended that they serve steak.
Progress just means bad things happen faster “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.”- Epictetus
“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” — Aldous Huxley, “Proper Studies”
I would be prepared to make a substantial bet that he has no firm convictions to speak of, only the desire to strip people of theirs.
Epictetus: “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of things”
